Saying Goodbye to the City That Sleeps

My coronavirus-hijacked NYC trip has finally come to a close, but although the city shut down on me, I was still able to take some lovely strolls through Central Park and snag gorgeous views like this one over the Queensboro Bridge last night.

Although I tried my hardest to abort this trip after all my Broadway shows were canceled and all the museums and other attractions in the city closed, I nonetheless had a pretty enjoyable time — or as enjoyable as could be expected, under the circumstances. Of course, it was a gut punch when I was packing my suitcase last night and had to pitch all the show and parade tickets I’d never get to use, but during the past week I also got to:

-Score an unexpected New York Times byline

-See three shows: “The Lehman Trilogy” (Broadway), “STOMP” (Off Broadway -- and a nearly private performance!), and “The White Blacks” (Off Off Broadway)

-Eat sushi donuts, pork-belly Chairman Baos, and Baby Cooked Octopus from Peru

-Hang out at my favorite pier-side park and gaze out on the Manhattan Bridge from a bench swing

-Try my first ube (purple yam) soft serve and Early Grey Tea ice cream

-Stroll through Central Park

-Discover that Sesame Street is a real place (along with the Church of Scientology)

-See the Empire State Building lit up for St. Patrick’s Day

-Take a long, soothing walk along the High Line amid eviction- and Expedia-fueled frustration

-Have a conversation in Spanish with my hotel housekeeper

-Deliver a virtual conference presentation on feminism and Gay Talese (while wearing rainbow penguin pajama pants)

While it's now time to face all the moving and apartment-hunting stress back home, in today’s small victory, I realized that the apartment building I’m touring Thursday morning has — wait for it — not just *AN* elevator, but multiple elevators! I’ve learned in a fourth-floor walk-up for five years, so this is unheard of (you mean I *don't* have to carry my crates of grad-school books up four flights of stairs?!).

But to delay facing my housing search a bit longer, let me take you through the highlights of my last day in sleepy New York (not an oxymoron anymore, sadly).

My recap of my nearly-private performance of “STOMP” at the Orpheum Theatre Sunday evening went live on The New York Times website yesterday morning — because when you’re stuck in a city that shuts down on you, might as well pitch a piece to The New York Times about it! You can read it here: https://buff.ly/3b9kAH1.

Another highlight of today: You know you’re in NYC when the supermarket cookies are bigger than your face.

And I couldn’t leave without grabbing a container of my favorite tasty tentacled delicacy from the Westside Market on Third Avenue: Baby Cooked Octopus from Peru. It’s so good, but probably not a bestseller, so no danger of a toilet-paper-esque shortage here (though it's good to know that someone besides me must be buying it to keep it on the shelf after I left NYC last summer)! Now what must I do to bring this to every supermarket in Indiana?

And the laugh I needed today: NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio signed an executive order banning all Uber/Lyft pool rides — one customer per vehicle, he said, unless you’re a couple. And he clarified that it has to be “real couples.”

So since De Blasio is laying down the law on relationships, will he also be policing “real exercise," which is one of the exceptions to the "shelter in place" orders other cities have adopted and NYC is considering? E.g. “Get back inside, you slowpoke, that’s not *real* exercise!”

In less hilarious news, the last of my four conferences I’d had slated for this spring, the American Copy Editors Society Conference in Salt Lake City from April 30-May 2, was officially canceled. Which means … I get to deal with Expedia’s horrendous customer service again (seriously considering boycotting them forever after my NYC experience and the disconnected helpline). But I have a few months before my trip this time, so I’m confident I’ll *eventually* be able to get a refund for the flight and hotel!

The great news is that ACES is offering this year’s scholarship recipients deeply discounted rates for next year’s conference in Atlanta, so this conference may just be rerouted a year— and a few thousand miles, from Utah to Georgia!

And in local news, Purdue, Butler, and Indiana State University all canceled their commencement ceremonies yesterday, so sadly, IUPUI can’t be too far behind. But it’s not like I could pick up my cap and gown anyway, as I ordered them right before I left, and now my apartment’s package office is closed indefinitely (RIP my groceries).

But (*crosses fingers* *knocks on wood*) I’ll be back in Indy before any potential domestic travel ban takes effect! I checked in for my flight last night, and it looks like I’ll, umm, have my choice of a seat. (But I'll need to do my own social distancing — why would you sell the entire back row and leave the whole middle of the plane empty?!).

In more exciting writing news (just in case an unexpected NYT byline wasn’t enough), I’m on track to interview 41 people in the next month for various freelance assignments, plus a few more for final grad-school projects. So, all the phone calls, including two tomorrow before my flight leaves.

I was temporarily flummoxed — where could I find a quiet place at JFK Airport, one of the busiest airports in America, to record phone interviews? And then I remembered that, umm, duh.

I’ll close out my reflections on my NYC trip with a tale of two extremes. First, here was the Eighth Avenue Shake Shack tonight (NYC closed all restaurants except for take-out and delivery at 8 p.m. on Monday).

But here was the audience for today’s Met Opera livestream:

A.k.a., when the Shake Shack closes, the world turns to opera. There’s hope for humanity after all.

Also, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!